Post by Llakor on Jun 26, 2008 21:40:52 GMT -5
Kevin Steen Shoots for Gold
Kevin Steen has hobbies. He likes playing Lego with his son Owen. He likes prank calling El Generico’s cell-phone. But most of all, he lives to KILL UNO! Player Uno has barely survived two full-on Kevin Steen onslaughts. This Sunday, it happens once again, only this time around, Player Uno is not just trying to defend his life, his skull and his ability to generate the next generation of 8-Bit Luchadores.
This time, Player Uno will also be defending his Inter-Species Wrestling title from Mr. Wrestling.
…
…
…
Wait. Did I just do a straight-up wrestling promo for ISW? I feel dirty.
*****
Inter-Species Wrestling Press Release:
For Immediate Release:
Michael “Llakor” Ryan
Inter-Species Wrestling
www.beyondthebarn.org
HOT SUMMER RUB-DOWN
Card – Quick and Dirty
Sunday, June 29th, 2008
Foufounes Electriques,
87 Ste-Catherine East,
near Metro St-Laurent
Montreal, Quebec, CANADA
Inter Species Title - Player Uno (c) vs. "Mr. Wrestling" Kevin Steen.
Barnyard Brawl II - Winner Eats Loser - Moohammad the Terrorist Cow vs. Flip D. Berger.
Tag Team Extravaganza! - El Generico and Twiggy vs. "The Walking Dead" - Zombified and Izzie Deadyet.
Tiger's Choice - Beef Wellington vs. An opponent chosen by Giant Tiger.
Worst Smelling Match - EVER - Stinky the Homeless Guy vs. Kraven.
The Badd Match - The Badd Boys vs. Anyone with balls (Invitational Gauntlet.)
Rematch - El Hijo Del Bamboo vs. Michael Von Payton
I want a girl! - Sexxxy Eddy vs. *a girl*
*****
HOT SUMMER RUB-DOWN
Detailed Card
Every so often, in much the same way that all the best episodes of The A-Team began with Murdock escaping his asylum, those responsible for the ISW wander away from their sadly low (and lax) security penitentiaries, insane asylums and in some cases zoos, in order to put together another completely insane, and I use the following words loosely, “Wrestling Gala”. Just such a show will take place this Sunday, and the worst ring announcer in the multiverse has been summoned to croak out the names of the wrestlers.
Oddly, I am somehow also the ISW Commissioner, appointed to that position randomly by Twiggy and Rotchy during commentary of ISW’s last show: ISW Love Hurts
After losing a match against Giant Tiger, Beef Wellington was contractually forced to submit to Giant Tiger’s every sick disgusting whim and perversion for 72 hours, plus one bonus hour when Beef was legally free to leave at any time except that Giant Tiger had hidden Beef’s watch and lied about the time. What little shreds of dignity that Beef has left are invested in the fact that, as yet, no one has seen the tapes that Giant Tiger recorded of these three plus days of debauchery. On Sunday, Beef must face an opponent of Giant Tiger’s choosing, in a match where Giant Tiger will act as referee and if Beef loses the match, the tapes of Beef’s “Lost Weekend” will be released to the public.
Lust Weekend?
Promos related to the match:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=hl0LtFyMZX4
www.youtube.com/watch?v=-YTKOVMoGTs
Other promotions promise that a wrestler will die during their show, but only Inter-Species Wrestling would promise that one of their wrestler’s would get EATEN! (With the possible exception of XPW, but they meant something completely different.) Flip D. Berger will be taking his lunch break from his McJob during Hot Summer RUB-DOWN to face his long-time rival, the environmental extremist, the bovine battler, Moohammad, the Terrorist Cow. The Stipulation is that the Winner will kill, cook and eat the Loser. One way or another, history will be made!
Promos related to the match:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=dKtJuQNB1Uo
www.youtube.com/watch?v=aL-zHEfAGRw
Also, just to up the stakes a little on Moohammad/Flip D. Berger, I have been informed that by decision of the Commissioner, this match will also be a FANS BRING THE LEGO match. ISW was the first promotion, and Flip and Moohammad the first wrestlers, to use Lego as a weapon dating back to a match when Moohammad power-bombed Flip into a pile of Lego during ISW Processed Cheese in 2006.
I apparently decided to make this a FBTL match during a massive drinking binge in my home-town of Morin-Heights. Fortunately, Twiggy was paying attention, because frankly I don’t remember making that decision at all. Actually, I don’t even remember the drinking binge, although I keep finding empty bottles of Beef-Eater Gin in the weirdest places...
My butt is still sore from the Badd Boys kicking me into the ring after their match at ISW Love Hurts. This Sunday, a lot of other teams will be feeling my pain as the Badd Boys have challenged any and all teams to face them in an Invitational Gauntlet Challenge match. So far three different teams have made critical failures when rolling against their IQs. Will anyone else volunteer to taste-test the Badd Boys boot leather? Come Sunday and find out!
Promo related to the match:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=VkaeFua2Q0U
After Twiggy the student battled his teacher El Generico at ISW Love Hurts, the two men have combined as a team - convinced that as a unit they are better than any tag-team alive. Unfortunately for them their opponents aren’t… alive that is, as Twiggenerico face off against the Walking Dead team of Zombiefied and Izzy Deadyet.
Promo related to the match:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=7EpQYAxUjqY
Unfortunately, the IWS Fringe show was rained out, denying the many fans of the ISW master of Jungle Fever. But fear not ladies! El Hijo del BAMBOO! will be in action this weekend. Sadly, BAMBOO! Jr. has yet to chalk up his first win and Ontario’s best (and meanest) wrestler, Michael Von Payton is unlikely to give ISW’s Kung-Fu Panda much chance to win their rematch.
Promo related to the match:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=oaJkcV_IVB8
Fans planning to attend the show this Sunday may wish to bring a gas mask for the match pitting Stinky the Homeless Guy, returning from a knee injury that he suffered diving for a quarter, against another member of Gore’s Zombie Horde: Kraven. It will be interesting to see if Stinky’s non-bathing strategy will deter Kraven from taking a bite out of grime.
Sadly neither Stinky nor Kraven chose to speak for the cameras. Stinky was convinced that the camera was trying to steal his soul. Kraven has no soul to lose, but sadly also lacks a working set of lungs. Instead allow me to offer you the promos related to the Main Event Title Match between Player Uno, the Champion and Kevin Steen, the Challenger:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=3OFAjbWkLaY
www.youtube.com/watch?v=XsfIk59nUdw
Finally, ISW will have copies of their comic book for sale this weekend. Fans can perhaps get them autographed by Sexxy Eddy if you brought a crowbar to separate him from the “Girl” that he is scheduled to have a “match” with or better still get your copy signed, well pawed, by ISW’s new mascot, Roadkill:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=v2Pyu5Qij-Y
Inter-Species Wrestling should be arrested for presenting Hot Summer RUB-DOWN, Sunday, June 29th, 2008 at Foufounes Electriques, 87 Ste-Catherine Est, (near the corner of Ste-Catherine and St-Laurent, near the St-Laurent metro) Montreal, Quebec, CANADA. Doors open at 7:00 pm, show starts at 8:00 pm, tickets are $15. 18+, card and times subject to change (we should be so lucky). For more information go to www.beyondthebarn.org or write to interspecieswrestling@hotmail.com .
The IWS presents: Summer Slaughter, Saturday, July 19th, 2008 at Bogey’s World Bar & Billiard, 3250 Cremazie Est (corner of Cremazie and St-Michel near the St-Michel metro), Montreal, Quebec, CANADA. Doors open at 7:30 pm, show starts at 9:00 pm, tickets are $20 for VIP, $15 for Regular. 18+, card and times subject to change. For more information go to www.syndicatewrestling.com or e-mail Llakor@hotmail.com .
The IWS presents: Hardcore Heat, Saturday, August 23rd, 2008 at Bogey’s World Bar & Billiard, 3250 Cremazie Est (corner of Cremazie and St-Michel near the St-Michel metro), Montreal, Quebec, CANADA. Doors open at 7:30 pm, show starts at 9:00 pm, tickets are $20 for VIP, $15 for Regular. 18+, card and times subject to change. For more information go to www.syndicatewrestling.com or e-mail Llakor@hotmail.com .
The IWS proudly presents: Un F’N Sanctioned, Main Event is FANS BRING THE WEAPONS! Saturday, September 27th, at the beautiful, downtown Medley, 1170 St-Denis, near the Berri-UQAM Metro. Montreal, Quebec, CANADA. Doors open at 7:30 PM, show starts at 9 PM. VIP tickets are $25, Regular tickets are $20. VIP ticket holders admitted first. No reserved seating. Tickets can be purchased online at www.ticketpro.ca or in person at the Medley box office. 18+. Card and times subject to change. For more information go to www.syndicatewrestling.com or e-mail Llakor@hotmail.com .
Kevin Steen has hobbies. He likes playing Lego with his son Owen. He likes prank calling El Generico’s cell-phone. But most of all, he lives to KILL UNO! Player Uno has barely survived two full-on Kevin Steen onslaughts. This Sunday, it happens once again, only this time around, Player Uno is not just trying to defend his life, his skull and his ability to generate the next generation of 8-Bit Luchadores.
This time, Player Uno will also be defending his Inter-Species Wrestling title from Mr. Wrestling.
…
…
…
Wait. Did I just do a straight-up wrestling promo for ISW? I feel dirty.
*****
Inter-Species Wrestling Press Release:
For Immediate Release:
Michael “Llakor” Ryan
Inter-Species Wrestling
www.beyondthebarn.org
HOT SUMMER RUB-DOWN
Card – Quick and Dirty
Sunday, June 29th, 2008
Foufounes Electriques,
87 Ste-Catherine East,
near Metro St-Laurent
Montreal, Quebec, CANADA
Inter Species Title - Player Uno (c) vs. "Mr. Wrestling" Kevin Steen.
Barnyard Brawl II - Winner Eats Loser - Moohammad the Terrorist Cow vs. Flip D. Berger.
Tag Team Extravaganza! - El Generico and Twiggy vs. "The Walking Dead" - Zombified and Izzie Deadyet.
Tiger's Choice - Beef Wellington vs. An opponent chosen by Giant Tiger.
Worst Smelling Match - EVER - Stinky the Homeless Guy vs. Kraven.
The Badd Match - The Badd Boys vs. Anyone with balls (Invitational Gauntlet.)
Rematch - El Hijo Del Bamboo vs. Michael Von Payton
I want a girl! - Sexxxy Eddy vs. *a girl*
*****
HOT SUMMER RUB-DOWN
Detailed Card
Every so often, in much the same way that all the best episodes of The A-Team began with Murdock escaping his asylum, those responsible for the ISW wander away from their sadly low (and lax) security penitentiaries, insane asylums and in some cases zoos, in order to put together another completely insane, and I use the following words loosely, “Wrestling Gala”. Just such a show will take place this Sunday, and the worst ring announcer in the multiverse has been summoned to croak out the names of the wrestlers.
Oddly, I am somehow also the ISW Commissioner, appointed to that position randomly by Twiggy and Rotchy during commentary of ISW’s last show: ISW Love Hurts
After losing a match against Giant Tiger, Beef Wellington was contractually forced to submit to Giant Tiger’s every sick disgusting whim and perversion for 72 hours, plus one bonus hour when Beef was legally free to leave at any time except that Giant Tiger had hidden Beef’s watch and lied about the time. What little shreds of dignity that Beef has left are invested in the fact that, as yet, no one has seen the tapes that Giant Tiger recorded of these three plus days of debauchery. On Sunday, Beef must face an opponent of Giant Tiger’s choosing, in a match where Giant Tiger will act as referee and if Beef loses the match, the tapes of Beef’s “Lost Weekend” will be released to the public.
Lust Weekend?
Promos related to the match:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=hl0LtFyMZX4
www.youtube.com/watch?v=-YTKOVMoGTs
Other promotions promise that a wrestler will die during their show, but only Inter-Species Wrestling would promise that one of their wrestler’s would get EATEN! (With the possible exception of XPW, but they meant something completely different.) Flip D. Berger will be taking his lunch break from his McJob during Hot Summer RUB-DOWN to face his long-time rival, the environmental extremist, the bovine battler, Moohammad, the Terrorist Cow. The Stipulation is that the Winner will kill, cook and eat the Loser. One way or another, history will be made!
Promos related to the match:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=dKtJuQNB1Uo
www.youtube.com/watch?v=aL-zHEfAGRw
Also, just to up the stakes a little on Moohammad/Flip D. Berger, I have been informed that by decision of the Commissioner, this match will also be a FANS BRING THE LEGO match. ISW was the first promotion, and Flip and Moohammad the first wrestlers, to use Lego as a weapon dating back to a match when Moohammad power-bombed Flip into a pile of Lego during ISW Processed Cheese in 2006.
I apparently decided to make this a FBTL match during a massive drinking binge in my home-town of Morin-Heights. Fortunately, Twiggy was paying attention, because frankly I don’t remember making that decision at all. Actually, I don’t even remember the drinking binge, although I keep finding empty bottles of Beef-Eater Gin in the weirdest places...
My butt is still sore from the Badd Boys kicking me into the ring after their match at ISW Love Hurts. This Sunday, a lot of other teams will be feeling my pain as the Badd Boys have challenged any and all teams to face them in an Invitational Gauntlet Challenge match. So far three different teams have made critical failures when rolling against their IQs. Will anyone else volunteer to taste-test the Badd Boys boot leather? Come Sunday and find out!
Promo related to the match:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=VkaeFua2Q0U
After Twiggy the student battled his teacher El Generico at ISW Love Hurts, the two men have combined as a team - convinced that as a unit they are better than any tag-team alive. Unfortunately for them their opponents aren’t… alive that is, as Twiggenerico face off against the Walking Dead team of Zombiefied and Izzy Deadyet.
Promo related to the match:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=7EpQYAxUjqY
Unfortunately, the IWS Fringe show was rained out, denying the many fans of the ISW master of Jungle Fever. But fear not ladies! El Hijo del BAMBOO! will be in action this weekend. Sadly, BAMBOO! Jr. has yet to chalk up his first win and Ontario’s best (and meanest) wrestler, Michael Von Payton is unlikely to give ISW’s Kung-Fu Panda much chance to win their rematch.
Promo related to the match:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=oaJkcV_IVB8
Fans planning to attend the show this Sunday may wish to bring a gas mask for the match pitting Stinky the Homeless Guy, returning from a knee injury that he suffered diving for a quarter, against another member of Gore’s Zombie Horde: Kraven. It will be interesting to see if Stinky’s non-bathing strategy will deter Kraven from taking a bite out of grime.
Sadly neither Stinky nor Kraven chose to speak for the cameras. Stinky was convinced that the camera was trying to steal his soul. Kraven has no soul to lose, but sadly also lacks a working set of lungs. Instead allow me to offer you the promos related to the Main Event Title Match between Player Uno, the Champion and Kevin Steen, the Challenger:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=3OFAjbWkLaY
www.youtube.com/watch?v=XsfIk59nUdw
Finally, ISW will have copies of their comic book for sale this weekend. Fans can perhaps get them autographed by Sexxy Eddy if you brought a crowbar to separate him from the “Girl” that he is scheduled to have a “match” with or better still get your copy signed, well pawed, by ISW’s new mascot, Roadkill:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=v2Pyu5Qij-Y
Inter-Species Wrestling should be arrested for presenting Hot Summer RUB-DOWN, Sunday, June 29th, 2008 at Foufounes Electriques, 87 Ste-Catherine Est, (near the corner of Ste-Catherine and St-Laurent, near the St-Laurent metro) Montreal, Quebec, CANADA. Doors open at 7:00 pm, show starts at 8:00 pm, tickets are $15. 18+, card and times subject to change (we should be so lucky). For more information go to www.beyondthebarn.org or write to interspecieswrestling@hotmail.com .
The IWS presents: Summer Slaughter, Saturday, July 19th, 2008 at Bogey’s World Bar & Billiard, 3250 Cremazie Est (corner of Cremazie and St-Michel near the St-Michel metro), Montreal, Quebec, CANADA. Doors open at 7:30 pm, show starts at 9:00 pm, tickets are $20 for VIP, $15 for Regular. 18+, card and times subject to change. For more information go to www.syndicatewrestling.com or e-mail Llakor@hotmail.com .
The IWS presents: Hardcore Heat, Saturday, August 23rd, 2008 at Bogey’s World Bar & Billiard, 3250 Cremazie Est (corner of Cremazie and St-Michel near the St-Michel metro), Montreal, Quebec, CANADA. Doors open at 7:30 pm, show starts at 9:00 pm, tickets are $20 for VIP, $15 for Regular. 18+, card and times subject to change. For more information go to www.syndicatewrestling.com or e-mail Llakor@hotmail.com .
The IWS proudly presents: Un F’N Sanctioned, Main Event is FANS BRING THE WEAPONS! Saturday, September 27th, at the beautiful, downtown Medley, 1170 St-Denis, near the Berri-UQAM Metro. Montreal, Quebec, CANADA. Doors open at 7:30 PM, show starts at 9 PM. VIP tickets are $25, Regular tickets are $20. VIP ticket holders admitted first. No reserved seating. Tickets can be purchased online at www.ticketpro.ca or in person at the Medley box office. 18+. Card and times subject to change. For more information go to www.syndicatewrestling.com or e-mail Llakor@hotmail.com .